A week ago I thought about riding a bike from Paducah to Joplin Missouri I had a bike a phone and a pocket full of money but things change quickly - three days later all I had was my backpack and my broken phone My bike was smashed and my money was taken by those motherfuckers who were in a pick-up truck and they were picking on me on the road
I hid the wreck of the bike in the bushes in Mark Twain National Park and went on foot carefully making sure that I did not hitch a ride in vans with a similar company It was two days before I got to a little town that was close to civilization: it had Wallmart a McDonald's another burger place a couple of gas stations and a hotel
I know I looked terrible the guys from pick-up did a good job The only thing that stopped them was that I gave them all my money I felt dirty from head to toe but at least I wasn't limping anymore I washed myself as much in a stream as I could and then hungry and unfortunate I began to do something I had never done before: I began to beg I was hoping I could get enough to get us a cheap sandwich at McDonald's
As I cut through the hotel parking lot I saw a businessman-shaped guy getting out of a shiny black SUV "Hey sir do you have any change for a sandwich?" The grey-necked well-dressed man looked at me took a good look at me and shook his head and lifted his phone to his ear indicating that this conversation was over After the rejection I walked away in disgrace looking at the Earth a little hoping to find a quarter that rolled away
- Hey wait the guy yelled at me putting his phone in his pocket He leaned into his car he was doing something there and then he took out a McDonald's bag and he reached out to me - You want this burger he asked
I turned back suspiciously Other times under different circumstances I would have changed my mind and probably she would have changed mine He could have been my dad's friend he was so much older than me I nodded gratefully to him when I took the paper bag from him from which I immediately took the sandwich out unwrapped it and began to eat with great bites
"Relax he said with a smile as he looked at me again" He leaned back into his freshly-polished car took out a water and put it in my hand when I was stuffing my fries with greed - What's the matter? - he asked
I've been telling him a few words about what's happened to me the last few days I don't know if he believed the story but I don't care
- Here's my phone do you want to call someone? - he asked
I answered and then I drank the water I kept half for later counting on having a refillable bottle afterwards That's when I realized that the answer would make me look like a lonely homeless person so I quickly added: I mean I don't know anyone's number off the top of my head they were in my broken phone I was embarrassed so I thanked him quickly for the food and I was going
- Wait he said that while he was clinging to the open door of the car - You sure you don't remember any songs? Where are you going?
"A long walk" he replied
- I wonder where I can find a public library to use the computer for free I'd write home and send some money and then I could buy a bus ticket
- I have a laptop he said and he looked at me like he had plans for me - What's your name?
- Randy I lied I don't know why I did it so I did There was something strange about the way he looked maybe that's why I was restless
He had a big smile on his face a type of Agent greeting the new buyer Well Randy today's your lucky day so I'm gonna help you if you help me - he recommended it I watched him adjust his pinkish-tinted wedding ring on his hand as he gazed rigidly into my eyes And then he grabbed his balls and he fixed them and he put his hand back on the open door of the car I could help you a lot if you'd let me
- How I asked because I couldn't imagine what I could do to help him
- You like blowjobs Randy?
- Boy I told you I can't help but step back What does this guy want from me? - Thank you for the food sir I told you and I'm on my way
- Relax Randy he called me - Listen to me He opened both hands and turned to me I know it's a stupid question but I didn't ask it by accident
He reached into his pocket and took a $ 5 bill out of his wallet As I watched it was torn right in the middle of a portrait of Ulysses S Grant - What Do You Know About Money Randy?
I shrugged my shoulders because I couldn't figure out where he was going with this He gave me half the bill and said: