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The popular expression of stories is "sorry for the long intro" and that what I'm describing happened I'll join both Don't expect such horror I didn't get a tenth or a hundredth of what happened to the lead actress of the big one which is why I've gotten over it so much that I can describe it to you now But it was enough to give me a little bit of a sense of what real victims feel like I was 12 but I liked to say I was 13 And besides I had all the qualities that would make a girl that size look like a little idiot I knew Miriam Stoppad's masterpiece "The Book of teenage girls" from the front to the back from the back to the back and I still know the sex parts by heart I used to fantasize a lot about boys and love and I'd go away once in secret with my eyes painted over to the grocery store and back In the last two weeks of summer some of the families shared a farmhouse in a small village
Nice neighborhood big field trip The Forest began right behind the house and we felt a real fairy tale landscape It's like we spent two weeks in the middle of a postcard Many of us were children (I would have been so angry if someone called me a child) we had a great time It was so good that I forgot more and more that I really should be making a surly boring face right now The plan for this weekend was to go to the nearby town to swim and to avoid leaving early we were going to sleep there I was a teenager and I said " Well I'm not going anywhere but don't worry I'll be fine alone in the house I'm old" They left it to me to stay My brother and one of my cousins decided to stay Saturday went by as if nothing had happened We really had a good time climbed up the mountain played cards warmed our own lunches and enjoyed the lives of independent unsupervised people
This afternoon I decided to stop with the big crowd All I said was I went for a walk bye I didn't even wait to see the look on their faces I was prettyI thought I was pretty I was wearing sneakers bicycle shorts that I thought were cool at the time and a T - shirt that I tied up under my boobs to be a big girl I didn't have a definite purpose so I thought I'd take the main road for a while and then take a turn on the tourist route and take a hike in the woods by myself I've been thinking about this a lot since then and I'm pretty sure I just wanted to go for a walk and I really wanted to go alone It wasn't a get-to-know-you trip even though I thought at the time I wanted to be pretty and sexy I was walking down the main road it was starting to get dark this afternoon thinking about where to go I was just thinking This is getting boring and maybe I should turn back slowly when I felt a good strong punch in the butt with a silly laugh I got hit with a football There was a group of boys two or three or four years older than me and they seemed to be in a good mood Of course I passed the football field at the end of the villagethat must be where they're coming from
I quickly adjusted my features to as disdain as I could I looked at them and then I turned back and I went on Wow Now what? I just went We were a long way from the village but we still needed a half-hour walk to the next settlement I couldn't hear the conversation at all but I was afraid to turn around I looked back carefully to see if they would come after me but I regret it Because one of them did
- Hey wait up Sorry about the ball it was an accident
- Yeah hi  It was more of a mumbling than a meaningful greeting but I stopped and waited
- I'm Bela I live here We had a party last night how come you didn't come over?
- Oh my God How can they call someone Bela? It's a good thing he's not a bird or anything I didn't know it was a party and I don't know anyone here
- Now you know me Can you tell me how old you are?
- 13 my past ()
- I'm 17
Of course the guy was wondering how long I was walking where I was going and I didn't really have an answer for that Then he told me to go with him there were nice houses on the hillside he showed me but I wanted to go back We turned back Then he tried to put his arms around me more and more and I tried to stop him more and more And then he asked me a strange question
 Now tell me quickly what kind of deodorant you're using
- For what?
- Tell me I said something of course not the one I actually used which I didn't think was cool enough
- Fine I'll buy you one tomorrow Do you have a boyfriend?
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